Filed under: And I Quote

The TV Squad team has made their picks for the top quotes of the past couple of weeks from TV:

• "In 48 hours, you solved 21 bank jobs, a murder and a kidnapping?" -- Det. Tutuola ribbing Det. Elliot Stabler about a confession given by a man on his death bed on Law & Order: SVU.
• "Next time I need my gun cleaned, you're my girl... uhhh, what are you doing Saturday night?" -- Jason (David Arquette) to his doctor, Joanna (Lori Laughlin), on the premiere of In Case of Emergency.
• "You twat! Why are you dying?! Actually, I wish I was dying... I bet I'd be better at it than you are." -- Guy to Mac, upon hearing about Mac's fatal condition, on Green Wing.
• "So, if you want to solve a real mystery, go ahead and figure out who's taking my New York Times every Sunday. Or, better yet, how about why anybody on the planet actually thinks Dane Cook is funny!" -- Dr. Cox's response when his interns rave about House, on Scrubs.
• "My penis is already packed." -- Denny Crane (who else?) on Boston Legal.
• "We're back in Somalia, a country so poor, its charity ads run in Ethiopia." -- Jon Stewart, regarding the US troops' raid in Somalia, on The Daily Show.
• "That's a crapload of woo." -- Jerome reacting to a giant gift basket from a publisher wooing Marin, on Men in Trees.

 

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Filed under: And I Quote

The TV Squad team has made their picks for the top quotes of the week from TV:

• "Trust me, Bart. It's better to walk in on both your parents than on just one of them." -- Milhouse to Bart, after he walks in on Homer and Marge having sex, on The Simpsons.
• "I hate milk. It comes from cow wangs!" -- Nelson, on The Simpsons.
• "My nose is just overflowing with awesome and I just had to get some of it out." -- Barney, after blowing his nose from a cold, on How I Met Your Mother.
• "An Indian study has found that condoms designed to meet international size specifications are too big for many Indian men... Which explains why they're always so grumpy when I call for tech support." -- Seth Meyers, on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update".

Continue reading And I Quote: The best lines of the past week

 

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Filed under: Other Drama Shows, Other Comedy Shows, Lost, Rescue Me, The Colbert Report, Festivus, South Park, And I Quote, 30 Rock

...Eight Characters Quoted!

This year didn't really provide any classic one-liners that have become a part of everyday conversation. There's no "Hell to the no!" or "Let's hug it out, bitch" or "Obey kaybee". So, I grabbed a few favorite quotes from our lists and from our commenters... and I threw in a few quotes from major moments in 2006 television.

• "Deal or no deal?", Howie Mandel's tagline for his new game show on NBC.
• "Live every week... like it's shark week," a bit of wisdom from Tracy Jordan on 30 Rock.
• "You taste like fish biscuits." Kate, after Sawyer kissed her on Lost.
• "Scroll over him with your mouse cursor and... right click!" Cartman, instructing his friends to attack during a game of World of Warcraft on South Park.
• "Do you mean Rain Man retarded or Paris Hilton retarded?" Lou, on Rescue Me.
• "Well, I know it's the worst kept secret in America... but I'm going to be working on CBS Evening News and 60 Minutes," Katie Couric, announcing her resignation from Today.
• "This administration is not sinking. This administration is soaring. If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg." Stephen Colbert, going balls-out at the 2006 White House Correspondents' Association Dinner on C-SPAN.
• "Mommy, when am I going to get my fur?" Rosie O'Donnell, quoting her daughter, during her first day hosting The View.

 

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Filed under: And I Quote

The TV Squad team has made their picks for the top quotes of the past two weeks from TV:

• "It's like Betty Crocker and Charles Manson had a love child, and he's cooking for me." -- Anthony Bourdain, guest judge on Top Chef
• "I got a better question for you. What is your sister's cell phone doing on my dead body?" -- Gibbs to McGee on NCIS
• "If you have sex, your penis will fall off and land in another dimension populated entirely by dogs, who will eat it." -- Peter reading from a safe sex pamphlet on Family Guy
• "They shake their booties and my thingy gets excited!" -- The Blizzard Man (Andy Samberg) freestyling on Saturday Night Live

Continue reading And I Quote: The best lines of the past two weeks

 

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Filed under: And I Quote

The TV Squad team has made their picks for the top quotes of the week from TV:

• Call Girl: "A Cleveland what?"
  Roy: "Don't worry -- I'll talk you through it. And we've got a glass coffee table right here." - Prison Break
• "What's that smell? Smells like sweat and anger and shame." -- Stewie, to Brian after a failed breakup attempt on Family Guy
• "So... I almost get shot and you guys respond by doing a lot of math?" -- Oswalt to Charlie on Numb3rs
• "If you lose the big game, that boy is gonna die faster than Steve Irwin in a tank full of stingrays." -- Doctor, telling Stan if his team loses the hockey game it will kill their teammate with cancer, on South Park
• Booth: "God does not make mistakes."
  Angela: "I don't know - putting testicles on the outside doesn't seem like such a good idea." -- Booth and Angela, comparing a serial killer's motives to God's, on Bones.
• "Thirty-five years ago, he joined the Texas National Guard to stay out of Vietnam ... And now, he's going to Vietnam to stay out of Washington!" - Ted Koppel, regarding President Bush's upcoming visit to Vietnam, on The Daily Show.
  
• "I usually like to be warned before I'm violated with demon tongue." -- Dean to the demon, on Supernatural
• "We both know that im a better liar than you are a cop." -- Sam to Woody, on Las Vegas

 

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Filed under: And I Quote

The TV Squad team has made their picks for the top quotes of the week from TV:

• Cheerleader's brother: "I'm gonna put it on YouTube and make like a million dollars!"
  Zach: "YouTube is free you idiot." -- Regarding a video showing the cheerleader's abilities, on Heroes.
  
• "Your athletic ability has enabled millions of teenage Americans to sit on their couch and eat Doritos, and I think that is a wonderful thing." -- Jimmy kidding Tony Hawk about the massive success of his skateboarding video games on Jimmy Kimmel Live Thursday.
  
• "Wouldn't you think I'd get tired of constantly being right? And yet it never gets old." -- Stark on Shark.
• "She ran away with it like a hobo with a sweet potato pie!" -- Dan Rather, regarding Hillary Clinton's win, on The Daily Show.
• Ratner: "You don't notice the little people because you're too busy lounging with Captain Moneybags here."
  Logan: "That's Admiral Moneybags." -- Hotel employee to Veronica Mars regarding not noticing him, on Veronica Mars.
  

 

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Filed under: And I Quote

The TV Squad team has made their picks for the top quotes of the week from TV:

• "Word in the conspiracy mill is she's out having my love child." -- Det. John Munch explaining Det. Olivia Benson's absence on Law & Order: SVU.
• "You brought me back to life. Don't think you're not going to pay for that." -- Randall, to brother Lucas, on The Nine.
• Eden: "He claims he can fly, but I don't have information ... Also there may have been an encounter with somebody who can stop time."
  Horn-Rim Glasses Guy: "Really? That's cool." -- on Heroes.
• "You're not getting in this dress." -- Alan Shore to Denny Crane on Boston Legal.

Continue reading And I Quote: The best lines of the week

 

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Filed under: And I Quote

The TV Squad team has made their picks for the top quotes of the week from TV:

• "Miss Hasselbeck, perhaps best known for her work as a mime on the show The View, told the grown-ups on that program that she was outraged by the name of one of Law & Order's special victims, Elizabeth Hassenback." -- Keith Olbermann, during his Keeping Tabs segment on Countdown.
• Hiro: "We got beat up because you made us cheat at gambling. Using my powers for personal gain. That's the Dark Side."
  Ando: "Not being broke is the Dark Side?" -- Heroes.
• "Wow! You are really screwed!" -- What Bob says when personal trainer / weight-loss coach Bob Harper on The Biggest Loser learns that Erik has lost a challenge and will have to workout three days without Bob's help.

Continue reading And I Quote: The best lines of the week

 

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Filed under: And I Quote

The TV Squad team has made their picks for the top quotes of the week from TV:

• "Yes, I know, I'll get letters." -- Boston Legal's Alan Shore, after bashing Freedom of Religion during the closing arguments of a trial.
• "What are you, a Democrat?" -- Fellow officer to McNulty when McNulty allows Omar his one phone call while being arrested, on The Wire.
• "I'm not part of any organization that has initials." -- Evil Glasses-Guy to Officer Parkman, when accused of working for the FBI, or maybe the CIA on Heroes.
• "That guy from Labyrinth just turned into a bird!" -- Hank, after watching David Bowie fly away, on The Venture Bros.

Continue reading And I Quote: The best lines of the week

 

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Filed under: And I Quote

The TV Squad team has made their picks for the top quotes of the week from TV:

• "Somewhere in a parallel universe bizarro-Dick is being a total killjoy." -- Dick Casablancas to Veronica Mars, when she tells him she's rushing a sorority, on Veronica Mars.
• "When I was 23, I had a paper route." -- David Letterman, about Nikki Hilton opening up her own hotel.
• "This is macaroni and cheese. It's what American's eat when they want to commit suicide slowly." -- Eden on Heroes.
• "In the end, when everyone else in this unit is buried and be-shitted, this Detective Sargent will still be standing." -- Sgt Landsman explaining CYA to Kima Greggs on The Wire.
• "What? Haven't you ever seen a smoking dwarf before?" -- Attorney Bethany Horowitz on Boston Legal.

Continue reading And I Quote: The best lines of the week

 

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